Dave is here

Well, our dear brother made it home. How I know mom loves hearing that kids voice! The sad part, is that by a little after noon today, mom became too weak to even open her eyes...and definitely no head movements. When we swab her mouth with a sponge to help keep it moist, she bites down on it...so she's definitely "with it" in her brain. Her poor body is another story. We re-situated her in her bed today...that was so hard [emotionally for me] to do. I held her up while Arlene changed the pillows under her, and then Dave held her up while we repositioned back pillows. Her breathing was so labored, but you can see how strong her heart is yet. I just held onto her small frame, feeling bones where she used to be soft, and yearned to be able to take away even a fraction of her pain and discomfort. I know we need to prepare ourselves...she could continue like this for days yet...but it's breaking my heart...I want her to be at peace. The "good" part is that her diaphragm is weak, so she probably can't continue as long as some people do. I want mom to go to heaven and sit with her heavenly Father...and keep an eye out for us kids!

~~Arlene just said she doesn't think she's that uncomfortable. Her forehead hasn't wrinkled up, the isn't grimacing or frowning...she just lays there. I'm sure part of that is she can't move anymore, but I hope she's right...I don't want mom to suffer.

All three of us kids sat around her bedside, praying, singing, just letting her know how much we love and appreciate her...and many, many tears. Ben at one point put his head down, and put mom's hand over his head...and she moved her thumb!! I lost it. I wonder if she's aware of how scary this is...or is she out of it enough that she feels very little discomfort? I'm hoping for the latter. I know when we moved her she wasn't comfortable...poor thing. I'm so glad we've had months [many long, long months] of getting her situated so we know what feels best. However, my poor heart is completely crushed. I don't want mom to be in pain anymore, but how I'm going to miss her so.

We're taking turns sitting with her...and I know we're all feeling pretty sick due to emotional stuff. We're continuing to receive delicious meals from people in the community and are completely overwhelmed by the number of people who are supporting and praying for us. My assistant principal came over today to get my lesson plans, so I don't have to go into school tomorrow. I will be here at home until this is over, and my entire school is backing me in this...how blessed I am to be working with such great people! They keep telling me not to worry...just spend the time with mom.

I'm so glad many of you are reading these and keeping mom in your prayers. I must admit, they are getting really hard to write! My hands keep shaking, and my eyes are so full of tears I can hardly see what I'm typing. I apologize for any huge misspellings! I'll keep them coming, as I know there is an incredible amount of power in prayer. Much love to you all, Martha