Not so good...

Well, mom had another rough night last night. Lot of nightmares, tears, fear...general not fun stuff. I sat with her most of the night, stroking her hand, talking to her, etc. She was up in the chair again last night, but that didn't last too long and we barely got her back into bed before she crashed. I think that was the last time she'll be up [except for the commode] while on this earth. Today she is incredibly uncomfortable...we're keeping her pretty heavily medicated, but as to what the DR said to do...other than that, there isn't much we can do for her. We've tried to reposition her back a few times, as she is continually in pain and discomfort, but she's just downright miserable.

Ben stopped by today and sat with mom, which made her smile, and David called and spoke to her for a long time! How thankful I am I have such great brothers. Somehow they just seemed to know I couldn't take much more, and poof...there they are! How I love them so. Just hearing their voices makes mom smile so much...just wish it could take away her discomfort level too.

Her breathing is still about the same...crappy. She struggles to get air in, but her heart is still so strong. Arlene said we just have to wait for the diaphragm to get too weak to keep working. Have I mentioned how tough this is?? However, I still believe that if it wasn't for mom being so miserable, us kids would have an insanely hard time letting her go. Seeing her like this makes it a little easier...she is ready to meet her Heavenly Father...and we're ok with that. We'd love for her to stay with us, but not like this...

Keep the prayers coming...think that's the only thing keeping us going!
Love, the West clan

Friday 8-29-08

Well, last night was a rough one. Mom was having a TOUGH time trying to breathe and was just super scared. So, I sat up with her...all night. I think she probably slept about an hour total. Needless to say, I was a wee bit tired today. However, I know God helped keep me awake all night...so mom could be more comfortable. I went into work today for the morning, then took the afternoon off...and slept! [sleep never felt so good!] I'll more than likely do the same again tonight...just what you do for your parents, esp when they need you so bad. However, we're all so tired...mom included...not sure how much longer we can all keep going like this.

Ben, Cortney and Caleb came over tonight with dinner...thanks again guys!! I was sleeping when they arrived, but heard the pitter patter of Caleb's cute little feet and came upstairs. He's such a ball of energy, and makes mom smile so much! After awhile, we got mom up and in her chair! She hasn't been in there for a few days, and I'm sure it helped her poor seat to change positions. She lasted for a few hours, then needed to get back into bed. Mom, Arlene, and I sat and watched part of a movie, helping mom keep her mind off of being so uncomfortable. Mom and I always loved our movie times together...though usually I would try and curl up in her lap! [yeah...mom's 5'2"...I'm 5'10"...it was adorable!! =)] I miss those days!!

~~I'm sitting in mom's room, watching her drift off to sleep. She told me to go sleep, 'cause that's what she was going to do [Well, she didn't use so many words as she can't anymore, but she did get that general point across]. After many, many hugs and kisses, I told her I'd go downstairs once she was asleep...now I am sitting here, watching her breathing...which is much slower and more shallow. Before mom went to sleep, I told her to meet me in dream land! We decided to each dream of riding horses...I picked that we do it in Ireland! =) I like to think that we can always meet each other in our dreams...how I love this lady so and thank God daily for the kid of mom he gave me!

Mom's good friends stopped by yesterday, and it didn't take too long before mom was talking about heaven. Mom has an incredible faith, and she knows without a shadow of a doubt, where she is going soon. She's said to me before she'd like to stay here with us kids, but not in her current condition. So, since God isn't going to heal her here on earth, she is so looking forward to heaven...and being able to walk, run, sing, talk again {plus so much more!}. She is ready to go...and not be so miserable here anymore...we're just waiting to see when God takes her home. I'm continually amazed at her strength, but she's always reminding me...it isn't HER strength at all, but GOD'S in her. That makes sense, as I'm not sure any of us could still be doing this without our heavenly father holding us up. However...I'm not feeling very "held up" at the moment! =) [At least you can always count on honesty from me!] She is such an amazing woman...who has taught us all so much. What a gift she has been to SO many!!

I have been asked now by 4 people how we can keep having a faith after all of this. And, don't I wonder why bad things happen to such good people? All I can say, is that of course I wonder! I have had some HUGE questions running through my head, all pretty normal. However, I know that all things happen for a reason...I just don't know what that reason is. And, I might never know the reason. I strongly suggest the book "The Case for Faith" by Lee Strobel. I might come across as strong and having all this "put together," but I'm struggling here... This book addresses a lot of things that I have recently been asked about, and is one of mom's favorites! She always had multiple copies, to give out to people who asked the kind of questions I have been asked recently. I recently read in a novel mom gave me that when faith appears to be being tested, it's like working out; we have to work out to keep our bodies in shape, and there are times when God allows bad things to happen to "test" our faith...to help keep it "in shape." I agree with this, however would like to add...that this 'working out stuff' kinda stinks! =)

Well, I should probably wrap this up and try to sleep. It's after 1 AM and tomorrow is going to be a long day...no help for Arlene and I during the day. It's just so incredibly hard to walk away from mom's room, knowing it might be the last time I see her in here. It might not be, but what if.... So, getting me to leave is pretty tough sometimes! It's probably a good thing that I'm so tired myself.

"Please, dear Lord...keep my mommy safe tonight...and let Your will be done. [though I would personally love to see her not struggle so much to breathe!..but....YOUR will...]"

I pray you all have a good Saturday with those you love!

Wednesday, 8-27

Today started off with rain, which we desperately needed! Mom seemed to be doing pretty good when I left for work, though was uncomfortable as usual. She only got out of bed today to use the bathroom...other than that, she wanted to stay in bed. She was just so tired and wanted to stay laying down. I hate this disease SO much!! If mom was just weak or couldn't walk, I'd find a way to keep doing all this for her...no matter how long it was. Part of me misses being able to just go hang out with friends, but I would much rather do whatever it takes to keep mom here with us...as long as she was comfortable. That's the crappy part...I know she's not and I know she won't be. So, I have to start facing up to the fact that God wants to heal her in heaven. I am so glad I've been able to be here for mom...just so hard to believe she doesn't have much time left.

Again, thanks for your continued support and prayers.

Update...

Well, we've made it through another day! After teaching small children all day and then coming home to an even more full time job with mom at home, I'm quite impressed when we DO make it another day! =) Arlene is such a blessing...I truly don't know what I'd do without her. I definitely need a nurse around here!

Today mom was definitely much weaker...she didn't get up into her chair until 4:45 pm. She just didn't have the strength until then. I was home by then, and sat with her in the kitchen. She got another shot of "happy meds" to help calm the jittery nerves and fell asleep...I sat and watched her breathe. It's definitely a struggle for her to get a good breath...wish I could help her more. After awhile, I took a quick nap with my head on the kitchen table, then helped mom cough when she woke up. I have SO much I need to do and lesson plans I should be making; however, mom and I just sat and watched a movie! She was somewhat reclined in her chair, I sat with my legs propped in front of me and iced my poor knees. The knees are doing pretty good, but since the last surgery, I haven't had the movement I used to. And, with all the lifting of mom, they just plain hurt! It felt so good to just relax with mom; I'm sure going to miss those times.

Dinner was brought to us [very good again!] and it smelled pretty darn good. Poor mom said "that's not nice!" [she can't eat anymore...gets nutrients from IVs, but can no longer eat food. she feels hunger, though...which doesn't seem fair!] Right before our movie, mom looked up at me with her beautiful eyes and said in her tiniest whisper, "I wish I wasn't the one dying." 'Me too' I said. Then, in trying to keep from bawling, told her I would try to make her proud...and she answered 'I know you will...you already do.' Tear jerkers!!!!!!!!!!

Other than being much weaker, mom's hanging in still. Thanks again for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers! Uncle Dick [Arlene's husband] is going in today for eye surgery. Poor guy...he's more jittery than mom is! A guy from Arlene and Dick's church is going to be taking Dick to the surgery. Get this...it's the guy's day off...and he's an optometrist!! Can't get a better person than that to take you to an EYE appointment! =) Thanks again...we are so incredibly appreciative.

~~Wed. am; mom's doing ok this morning, just super weak. Her mouth is really dry, which doesn't help with the little voice she has left. Her diaphragm is weaker, so it's a huge struggle to even whisper. Poor mom...wish I could help!

More pics...

Tonight I tucked mom into bed and said what I usually do..."sweet dreams, mommy...if I don't see you in the morning, I'll see you in Heaven...it's a win, win!" This is true, however thinking about mom not being here hurts...yet thinking of her still here with us in pain, hurts. How I wish I could make this better for her! She has kept the strongest faith I've ever seen through all of this...but she is so tired and ready to be done with the pain. Wish I could find a genie in a bottle! sigh...I have the greatest mom EVER!! How I love her so...and would continue to keep taking care of her as long as I could...if only she could be healthier so I could!

Our dear family friend Jerry was in town this weekend and stopped by to see mom. He's like another son to her...how incredibly glad we are he was able to make it!! We love you, Jerry!!! Here are a few more pics I've been meaning to post...

Mom and her other 'son,' Jerry [8-23-08]

My beautiful mom, on 8-13-08. She looks great!!! It's hard to believe she's struggling as much as she is....

Grammy Joy and Caleb! [8-5-08]

Testing out Caleb's new pillow!

Ben, Mom & Caleb [8-5-08]

That's pure joy!!!!!

She rallies again

Mom is doing well this afternoon. She seems to have rallied again and is doing much better. Her breathing is better and the headache has subsided. She's still "absolutely sick of this!" as she puts it, but is here with us one more day. Thanks again for your prayers!

Bedside vigil...

Mom isn't doing so good this morning. Her breathing is very weak...she's gasping for air, and has a horrible headache [which we know is due to the oxygen and her body not able to kick out the O2...however, she can't breathe without it]. Arlene and I are sitting next to her, holding her hands, stroking her hair, etc. She is calmest with one of her family members sitting next to her. So, we sit...and pray. I don't think you're ever ready to lose a parent, yet I'm so ready for mom to be at peace and not in pain anymore. We were talking last night [she can still kinda whisper] and she said she's still praying "Thy will be done" and "In everything, give thanks." That last one is the tough one, she said. I'm continually amazed at how she keeps such a strong faith through this all. I am not sure I could be doing that if I were in her shoes. What a great example she is to us all.

Keep praying for her continued comfort. She's beyond miserable today and this whole 'not being able to breathe' stuff just sucks. Currently, she's rallied a bit...again...and is doing better. This is where the emotional roller coaster is getting old..and tiring! We just never know what to expect, when the end is near, etc. She shouldn't still be here, yet she is still hanging on somehow. Arlene and I are both exhausted, and continue to try to remain upbeat for mom and give each other times to rest. I'm not sure how to pray for her, except that God will spare her from suffering. It's such a tough thing...wouldn't wish this on anyone.

That's about it for now...will keep on keeping you posted. Thanks again for all the support.

Pics...

Here are some pics that were taken awhile ago...just haven't had time to post them for you

Caleb learning how to "help" and hold the suction tube. [8-15-08]

He insisted he do it alone! [did pretty good, too]

Grammy Joy was so thankful for his help!

Dave and Bill played and sang for mom for almost 2 hours...how she smiled!!!!! [8-15-08]

My dear friend Meghan came to see "mom"...8-15-08

I love my mom... [8-9-08]

Mom, Dave & I [8-9-08]

Mom, Arlene, Dave & I [8-9-08]

Thursday...update

Hello there...hope all of you are doing well. Wanted to send you a quick update on mom before school starts today. She's still hanging in here...actually had a pretty good night for her last night. She slept decently [which means in 1-2 hour shifts] but was able to fall back asleep, which is pretty rare for her. She felt ok last night...but she's starting to get really jittery as her body shuts down. So, Arlene comes and gives her something to help take the edge off. She said last night she knows God's in control, but she's not sure how much more of this she can take. I second that. We are all so tired. Mom's cousin Sherry stopped in last night for a little bit. This was a huge surprise...she was briefly in town driving a truck back to MN, and was able to stop in for a bit. It was really good to see her! [Though I took the time to take a quick nap, I know Arlene and mom loved chatting with her!]

Tuesday evening I went downstairs to discover our furnace/AC had flooded the basement utility room...and part of the living room. Excellent...like I don't have enough going on! So, I had the privilege of spending a few hours cleaning that up. Ben and Cortney had just left from spending time with mom...kinda wished I would have found it while they were there! =) The AC people came out Wed. afternoon to fix it...mom can't handle heat/humidity as she can't breathe, so called in and got them to come asap. The "good" news? We're about due for a whole new unit. We knew this was coming, too, however...look forward to paying for that! And this is why I'm working full time this fall. Sigh. Just can't seem to catch a break anywhere!!! All is well now...for at least the rest of the week I'm hoping!

Last night Arlene and the caregiver [Sue..an absolute sweetheart!] made me go down to bed at midnight...I about cried I was so excited! Yep...I'm insanely easy to please. I was able to get in about 5 1/2 hours of sleep...way more than I've been getting lately. I feel SO much better today! Last night I felt like I was going to snap. I know why caregivers quit all other jobs...it's just too much. However, I really have to work this year, as I've only been subbing the past 2 years and I have to pay for the house now. So...I need to find a way to balance it all. However, it is definitely too much right now. Thankfully, I have a great school with a super supportive staff who understands where I am at right now.

We're still getting dinners delivered...what a blessing that has been! I know it was only a week ago I was still doing the meals, but I'm not sure how I did it all! Isn't that how it usually goes...you don't realize how tired you truly are until you actually get the help needed?!? Then what you've been doing seems like an impossibility! My yard was mowed for me when I got home last night...that really did make me tear up with happy tears. I just don't have the time to get it all done, and the time I do have I need to spend on time with mom and getting things ready for school. I'm so thankful for the people that have stepped in to help us spend these final days with mom. Thank you all so much!

Well, that's about it for now...students coming in here in a few minutes! I'll keep on keeping you posted...

8-19...left work a little early

This afternoon I received a phone call from Arlene telling me I should get home ASAP. This disease is horrible in that we never truly know if we're getting "close to the end" or not. However, mom's breathing was so bad, Arlene worried if she gave her her next round of meds she wouldn't wake up. So, my wonderful principal and counselor helped me cover my classes for a few final minutes while I rushed out of the parking lot before kids and parents overloaded it.

Mom is currently doing ok. Actually, a caregiver is with her in the midst of a choking spell right now, but other than that she's hanging on. Her breathing was really, really bad earlier Arlene said, so she called me. Now she's feeling bad! Silly girl...better to be safe than sorry. Mom did smile a bunch when I walked in, which made me feel like a million bucks. =) I'll keep you all posted on what happens next. I was truly blessed with an amazing mom...thanks for remembering her in your prayers.

Weekend

Hello again. Well, I officially survived the first day with students! It's insanely busy, as the beginning of every year is, but it's going ok. I can honestly say my mind isn't completely here at work, but know that's completely understandable! It is a challenge to try to get things done for work, spend time with mom, and try to sleep at least a few hours in a row, but I know it'll all work out...eventually! =)

Mom had a pretty good weekend. David worked with pyrotechnics at the airshow on Saturday, then stayed home with mom on Sunday while I went and did the pyro. Saturday was a really good day for mom! A volunteer from Arlene's church [the one who has organized dinner being brought to us...saves us a TON of time!] brought her daughter over to play her violin for mom. They sat on the front porch, listened to music, birds were chirping....really a great afternoon! Cortney, Caleb and her sister in law and two kids came over to see mom...bringing Cortney's mom as well! The house felt kinda like grand central station for awhile there, but mom was doing pretty good all day, and smiled a bunch! Towards evening started the coughing/choking stuff, but did pretty good during the day. Oh, Arlene and Dick went to the show on Saturday so Dick could see the plane he flew in during the Korean War! He had a great time! Sunday mom did pretty good, too...just lots of choking spells. These wear her out SO much...wish they'd lighten up a bit for her.

Sunday night was a bad sleep night for mom. She was up most of it with a rapid pulse and hyperventilating...just couldn't get air in. She did pretty good during the day on Monday...even got a decent nap in! She did start having more troubles with trying to swallow, though. That's not good. Ben, Cortney and Caleb came over for a bit to say goodbye to 'uncle Dave' and spend a little bit with mom. She did pretty good while they were there, but towards evening again it started up. I'm not sure how she did last night, but I'll let you know when I do. 

All things considered, it was a good weekend. Mom saw lots of family and friends, and truly knows how loved she is! I have some pics I'll try to post tonight... she looks good, it's hard to believe she's as bad as she is. Her diaphragm is weaker still...not too much left of it. Her breathing is definitely slower, which just sucks. However, I know I'll see her again...if not here on earth then in Heaven, so really it's a win win for us both.  Just tough getting there.

Back to work I go...just wanted to shoot you all a quick update. Thanks again for the continued thoughts and prayers...they are needed and appreciated.

More on mom...

Hello again. What a busy few weeks it has been! My classroom is looking somewhat ok for the beginning of the year, though I still have some things I'd like to do...later is fine with me! =) I brought home all my old lesson plans from Alaska and hopefully tomorrow I'll get the chance to actually write down some plans. I'd like to do it on the school laptop I'm supposed to get, but since I don't have it yet, think I'll do the "old-fashioned way" and hand write them. I could do them on my computer, but then won't be able to transfer to the school's MAC when I get it. I have a basic idea of what I want to do, just have to make sure I notate it correctly, with all those fun standards listed. I'm exhausted and realize I need to find a way to sleep more, but other than that I'm good. Arlene is equally as tired, and we try to give each other a few minutes each evening to just sit and/or close our eyes for a few moments. It's amazing what a few minutes of rest can do for a person.

Tonight we received a great blessing...a family from Arlene and Dick's church wanted to know if they could help in any way. Their son [with his dad] came over and mowed our yard and trimmed the hedges...and asked Arlene if they could bring over some meals. They've arranged for us to have dinner for tonight as well as the next 6 nights! I'm blown away by how thoughtful they are. It is a HUGE help for me to come home from work [incredibly tired] and to have dinner already done. Dick has to eat on a regular schedule, so it's hard to get it all done by the time I get home. Plus, even with a caregiver here, it's next to impossible to get anything done around here. So getting a meal out the same time every day? Yeah, right! Also, the emotional strain Arlene and I are feeling is pretty huge...it's nice to have at least one 'thing to do' marked off! Many people have offered to help, but we seem to be unable to make a decision as to what we need most help with! This couple just said they'd do it...what a blessing!!!

So...how is mom doing. Well, I guess that depends. We have wonderful dinner being brought in, but mom can't eat it. For the most part, she ate her last food yesterday. No matter how smooth the food is, she's choking it back up. So...after a late AM full of coughing/spitting/choking, she coughed up most of the food. So, no more food. It's not as heartless as it sounds; she is getting IV feedings/nutrients. However, she does still feel hunger, which has to just suck. She's definitely weaker, even from this morning. Morning and evening are tough for mom. In the AM, she's dealing with the insanely dry mouth but mucus from the sinuses; in the PM she's so weak and just worn out, which makes her more emotional. And then add the constant needing help with coughing...her diaphragm is shot...not doing much at all anymore. Most of her breathing is very labored. This morning didn't look so good...but after a few hours of extreme stress, Arlene and the nurse said she had a really good afternoon. Then evening hits and it's back to tough stuff again.

How much time do we have? We honestly can't tell you. I know people are wondering [as are we], but with this disease there is truly no way of knowing for sure. What most patients with ALS seem to pass away from is sheer exhaustion. I believe that. Poor mom...she's gasping for breath a good portion of the time now. Arlene did say she's be surprised if mom was still here in a month...but she could surprise us. We just don't know.

David and our friend Bill are in town for the weekend for the Offutt Air Show...yep, more blowing stuff up! I'm staying home with mom tomorrow [Sat] so Dave can work the show and Arlene and Dick can get away for a day...they wanna go watch the show! Sunday Dave's going to sit with mom [with other help, too of course] while I go relieve some stress! =) Ben's in charge of the show, and us 3 kids did it last year together while dad was at another one. Should be a good time!

Tonight Dave and Bill brought out their guitars and sang for a good few hours...mom was grinning from ear to ear!!!!! We sang through praise songs, old hymns, oldies, popular songs today, etc. So much fun! Dave and Bill sound really good together...they could be brothers they blend so well! It did mom's heart good...thanks boys!!!!! My dear friend Meghan and her husband Shawn stopped by to say hi and were here through the 'concert'...was really good to have them with us! Mom loves having her family and close friends close by...does her heart wonders! Thanks to you all for being here!!

Well, I'm beat and must sleep. I know I can't tell much, but hope this helped you all a bit in knowing where mom stands. Thanks again for all the prayers...they are most definitely felt!!

Well, that's about it for updates here. Kinda about the same, just getting a bit closer to heaven each day. Thanks again for everything!

Yet more change...

We know God is the author and giver of life...and that He has a plan in all of this, we just don't know what it is [though I would LOVE to know!]...but this is tough. Mom's definitely worse. Her body is shutting down, which is beyond painful to watch. I wish I could do more to help her be more comfortable.

So...what's new...Friday night started off the not-so-good stuff. She didn't sleep well, which will wear anyone out, and was waking up with bad headaches. Plus, eating became beyond difficult. We started IV "feedings" [expensive stuff...evil Medicare...thanks for the help! geesh], but she still has the sensation of being hungry...though it is drastically getting less and less. Sunday was a day full of choking...literally, non-stop. She'd cough and use the suction machine for about 15-30 min, then have about 15 min free, then start all over again. Literally, all day. Poor mom.

Last night [Sunday] mom slept pretty well, but aspirated on water [basically, choked]. She was able to eat a little bit today [I went out and got organic baby food for her this weekend...very smooth, easier for her to swallow], but even that's getting to be too much. Basically, her throat is shutting down. I can honestly say that this is the toughest thing I've ever gone through. Mom is absolutely miserable. She's exhausted, but can't sleep...every 10 min she's either choking or has insanely dry mouth. Plus there's the fact that her seat or back is always sore. Her speech/talking capabilities are basically at a whisper...because her diaphragm is so weak. It's hard to believe that a little over a year ago she was walking alone. ALS sucks.

That's pretty much what's going on here. I've started school stuff...meetings, time to get class in order, etc....but am ready to stay home if need be. I have an amazing principal and staff, who are incredibly supportive. I'd like to get as much done at school as possible, so when things do get worse, I'm prepared for them. Except for a few hours a day, we have a caregiver here to help us throughout the day. We're all exhausted...sleep in short shifts...but we're all more than willing to do so. We're just so glad we can be here to help.

Thanks for all the warm thoughts, emails, cards, and continuous prayers. They are truly felt and appreciated! Pray for mom's comfort level...she's so incredibly uncomfortable. Plus, she gets panic attacks that the medications don't seem to touch for very long. Such a tough road my dear mom is on... Thanks again...God bless.

Crappy but happy...

Mom is constantly being asked, "how are you doing?" which I think is kinda a stupid thing to ask someone dying. Her latest response? "Crappy but happy!" I kinda like that. Her health sucks, but her spirits are for the most part up. We still daily struggle with tears...it's part of the disease...the tears come when unexpected and cause all kinds of problems. However, we are getting some great family time in...even times when Mom, Arlene and I are all crying together! At least we're sharing! =)

Eating is also still a problem. Tonight I cooked 4 different things for mom, 3 of which she just couldn't get down. When taking a pill this evening she choked pretty bad, then aspirated on the water. I hadn't dealt with that all alone before....it scared the dickens out of me! It's not easy watching anyone choke/gasp for air, esp your own mom. Just not right. We're hoping Medicare will realize how dumb they are being and decide to cover the cost of her IV feedings, but since we're talking about Medicare, we aren't holding our breath.

I've started meetings for my job this fall...new teacher orientation. Every district makes you do it, but it's basically the same stuff...pretty boring! Sigh. Next week should be better...I'll be at my own school learning things/dates I actually need to know! =) I'll be teaching K-4 music this year. It's a HUGE elementary school with pre-K - 4th gr...think they have close to 700 kiddos! It'll be good to get into a routine and actually have a steady job with insurance again! However, it's incredibly hard to leave mom each morning and head out the door. I've taken care of her so long now, it just doesn't seem right to let someone else do it. I'm glad Arlene is here as well...she can keep an eye out for mom during the day. We know her quirks, fave things to do, etc...she needs us! =) Must admit...that's a good feeling.

Today was a rough day for mom. She didn't sleep well last night and Arlene said she had a few big choking spells throughout the day. These are soooooooo hard on mom...they wear her out! Also, her speech is pretty much close to gone. This is due to her diaphragm being so incredibly weak...she just can't get enough air. When she realizes how little talking time is left, she gets pretty emotional..understandably! It's got to be hard not to be able to communicate...poor mom! Arlene and I can usually decipher what it is she needs, but it's starting to get pretty tough. This fact depresses mom a bunch, as you can all imagine! She's always been such an active, talkative person...this disease is taking both from her at an alarming rate...I'm so not a fan of it! My poor, dear mom...she's such a trooper! She's hanging in here, but I know she's miserable. Keep up the prayers for her...she's had a rough week here! It'll be nice when it cools down a bit for her...she struggles with breathing outside so she's pretty much stuck indoors. Thank goodness for AC!

Well, that's the basic update on mom. She doesn't seem to be getting worse, but she's definitely NOT getting better. Keep the thoughts and prayers coming!
Thanks a TON! Love,
Martha and Yvonne

I'm back!

Hello you all! Sorry I haven't been updating you...it was hard to get good Internet time while on the road. I made it home this past Wednesday safely and much more rested. I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time!!! What a great trip! I flew with one of my dearest friends, who happens to be an amazing pilot as well, and we had more fun that I could have imagined! We flew from Houston, TX to Tacoma, WA [where I got to play with my bombs at an airshow]. Then on to Lethbridge, Canada where we were tourists for 4 days [hiked to a waterfall, dinner in an old water tower, and more great pics than I know what to do with!] then did another airshow...yep, more bombs for me. =) What a great trip!!! I loved flying in formation, the loops and rolls, the views were absolutely breathtaking, and the company couldn't be beat!

So, update on my dear, wonderful mom. I was surprised that she made it through everything, but was so incredibly glad to see her again. What a special lady she is! She's doing ok...her right arm [where the pic line is] is doing well, however we have yet to use the darn thing. The reason? Medicare [oh the things I would love to tell them!] won't cover the cost of the feedings until a 'food peg' [stomach tube] has failed. Well, we WANTED the darn stomach tube, but by the time we jumped through all the hoops to get one of those, the Dr. office gave us an appointment a month away...which was too late. This darn disease moves fast...you would have thought that they would have taken that into consideration! ugh...doctors. So, since it was too late for the food peg, medicare and all the lovely rules they have say they won't cover the cost. This is crap!!!!! Mom's lung doctor [who has been absolutely wonderful] is trying to help us fight this. We understand that they have regulations, but there has to be room for the grey areas! sigh.

On Friday mom went to the hospital to have a test done where they took x-rays of her digestion. She had to eat eggs [microwaved egg beaters...she said they were chewy and gritty] with radioactive stuff in them to help her glow. The nurses wanted mom to go back alone, which I protested, saying she needed one of us. Well, they insisted, and took her back alone. They weren't gone a full minute when the young nurse came back and asked for one of us. You think they'd listen! ugh. ugh. hospitals stink! Mom was having an anxiety attack at the thought of being left alone...it wasn't fear for the test, but for the fact that she can't talk very well, so when she's uncomfortable or needing assistance, they wouldn't know. Arlene went back with mom for the 1.5 hr test, and I stayed in the waiting room...not very calmly at first I might add. Very few in the medical profession even know what this disease is. When they come across a "special" case/patient like mom, I just wish they'd listen to us the first time! There was no need to get mom worked up like that. No wonder she hates hospitals so much. She chokes quite a bit these days, so you have to have suction close by. Also, a small amount of oxygen helps calm her down as well. Oh, and when she starts coughing? You have to help her by pushing on her diaphragm. All these things those nurses didn't know about. sigh. Poor mom.

She's definitely gotten weaker, more frail, and is coughing a lot more. She's still able to eat soft foods so she has some sort of energy level, but the end looks like it's approaching, which is depressing to say the least. It's so hard to watch someone I love so much go through so much. We know God's still in control, but it's tough to understand some days. I knew coming back would be a reality check...I hit the ground running! School meetings start up this next week, which will add some more things to do...just in case we didn't feel we had enough! I'll be working full time this fall. I'm looking forward to it, but it's going to be a challenge to teach the kiddos and deal with mom when I come home. But, I need to work. So, hooray for more challenges! =)

Mom's spirits are for the most part up, all things considered. I know it was a long 2 weeks with me gone, and Arlene is beyond exhausted. However, somehow we are all hanging in here. Oh! Mom's sister Doreen got to come into town for a few days while I was gone. It was great for the 3 sisters to spend time together! What sweet spirits they all are!

Well, that's about it for here. Mom's starting to choke, so must go help her. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...they are greatly appreciated! I'll let you know how we're doing in the next few days here!